Blog on groupthing

groupthing's writer in residence Beverley Ward gives some quick tips on showing and telling that you can use in your own writing:

Trust your reader to get what you're saying without spelling it out. An obvious way to do this is to avoid using the word 'felt' eg: James felt sad, James felt angry. Show us how James is behaving (eg: looking at the ground or kicking a lamp post and we'll know how he's feeling.

Try to avoid 'be' words eg: was, were, is. change your sentence around to be more direct eg: instead of 'The car was being driven by a man', 'The man drove the car'.

Choose the perfect word at all times. This is particularly true when thinking about verbs and adverbs. Don't say, 'the girl walked slowly down the road.' Instead choose a better verb eg: 'the girl sauntered down the road.' In fact, lots of writers and editors advise cutting out adverbs almost entirely as adverb use usually signifies that you've chosen a 'dull' verb. Think about adjectives too  - words like 'nice' and 'beautiful' don't actually tell us anything concrete - they're subjective words as we all view things like beauty differently.

Be specific. Specific deatils make your writing more visual. If someone's using an iPhone., say 'iPhone' not 'shiny black mobile.' If the flowers in the garden are forget-me-nots, use the name. Even if your reader doesn't know all the flowers in the world, it still sounds better than saying 'small, blue flowers'. Even if you'r emaking things up, name your characters and streets. It makes them seem more real.

Use dialogue and action rather than narration. It's easy to feel under-confident using dialogue but dialogue slows down action and makes it feel as if we're there with the characters. See my example of an extract that I've been re-writing to see if you agree that it's better this way.

Write about your characters as if you're inside their heads, even if you're not writing about them in the first person. I've moved from writing in the first person (I) to the third person (he/she) but I'm hoping the writing is more intimate now in spite of this.

Use similies and metaphors to make your reader feel how a character is feeling eg: 'Tag felt like he was cradled in cottonwool' rather than 'Tag felt safe'.

It's good to have these tips in mind as you start writing but even more important to use them when you're redrafting. If something seems dull or not right about your work, check that you haven't fallen into the trap of telling rather than showing.

Try this:
1. Write about an episode from your past as if you're recounting it to a friend. You could start with the words 'I remember...' and see where it takes you.

2.Try  re-writing the same scene using all the rules above, turning it into a dramatic scene that we (the readers are witnessing).

Which to do you think works better? Post you efforts in the writer in residence group - I'd love to read them and will give feedback.

And let me know which version of my extract you prefer too: version 1 or version 2.

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